Categories: Healing Insights Kaizen -small steps big change Mind Power

When we Change - Others Change

Living a life full of many different types of relationships sometimes brings with it different types of challenges and relationships can become a test of our mental strength when what we expect from others is not what we receive. Expectations from others can sometimes burden us so much that at times we can find people extremely difficult to deal with. Also, we may loose interest in our lives to an extent, difficult to imagine. There was once a king who ruled a very big kingdom, which was full of different types of people, who were not only different in their roles but also very different in their natures and personalities. The king sometimes wondered that I am not able to satisfy so many different people because everyone has different expectations from me. At the same time, his different expectations from the people of his kingdom were immense and at times it became difficult for him to experience peace and inner stability while handling their concerns and demands. A minister of the king gave him a suggestion that instead of trying to focusing on everyone’s desires and what they wanted, you be your good self and focus on playing your role in the best possible way and leave the rest to happen as it happens.

Many a times, it’s not about making the effort to change others but it’s changing yourself which brings positive results. This is because it is your change which inspires others to change. Remember everyone will not act or behave as we want and sometimes it can be difficult to cope with this. But if we remain determined in our positive behavior and change, they will, after seeing our change, over a period of time, begin to realize their mistakes and become the way you expect them to be.

Handling people with different natures requires a lot of spiritual strength and can be the most difficult thing to achieve for some. It’s not just about physical skills like a way of speaking or presenting yourself, which are some measures we take in our office or in our personal relationships. But it’s more about virtues and powers as well as wisdom of different types of actions and their results.

E.g. if you are preparing for a meeting in your office with many different office colleagues, then you will take different steps on a physical level - like seeing what is on the company’s agenda to discuss, what are the different complaints of the different people in your group, where is the company lacking and things like how best my outer personality should be so that everyone is satisfied with me. But do we ever think of how is my inner personality? Am I good nature, am I able to fulfill everyone’s inner desires with my love and good wishes? Also, have I spiritually empowered myself so much so that I can tolerate each and everyone even if their behavior and way of working is different from mine? Otherwise when we see different personalities of people and different intentions as well as aims and objectives which everyone possesses, it disturbs us. Also, that unfocused state of mind does not let us act in a positive way and our decisions can become incorrect. Of course, we cannot always think that people will be easy to deal with and also our efforts to please them can be unsuccessful at times. But, to bring harmony in relationships, we also need to have spiritual skills like good judgment power, discrimination power, the ability to mold, power to accept and the ability to give respect to each one’s opinion, etc. All these will make it easy to succeed.

While being involved in action, make it a point to remain connected with your inner centre of peace, love and bliss which is the spiritual centre or the soul, by remaining in its consciousness. Also, feel the presence of God or the Higher Power in your life at each and every step without which we cannot succeed in our actions, especially in our relationships and interactions, where powers from both the soul and God are required. So, satisfying others with your behavior and through the energy that you share with them, will only be possible when you first carry positive energy inside yourself.

You can try and do everything possible to make people’s ideas similar to yours and make them work the way you want them to, but a single action of yours which is full of goodness can achieve that much faster than you can if you tried through other methods. Say for e.g. a person in your family constantly has a habit of disobeying you and going against your requests and he or she does not believe in being on good terms with you and will always find a reason to differ with you in opinions. You have tried for many months to come to good terms with this person, but you have not succeeded. Now, you make yourself a sweeter and more tolerant person and work on making yourself more humble. Suddenly, what you could not achieve in such a long time becomes very easy and gets done in a few days. This is because seeing your practical change, the other person gets inspired to change him or herself much faster than by just persuading the other person constantly, to change. Remember when we change, others will change and until we do not do that, changing others will remain the most difficult thing to achieve and in fact it will be impossible. So, change yourself and set an example for others to follow.

Posted by: Admin Print this Article Send to Friends 26th Mar, 2024